Dr. T and the Women
Of course I knew this movie would not please me. I knew it the first time I saw the preview. I got a screener in the mail, I was home sick, what could I do? But I had no idea I would be so pissed at how unacceptable this movie is as “entertainment.” The opening shot traditionally sets the tone for the movie it opens, and in this case that tone-setting shot is an elderly lady having a speculum inserted while she chats awkwardly with her unseen physician. The tone: “off-putting.” It only goes downhill from there.
Marketed as a gynecological light comedy, the film never gets around to telling us what is supposed to be so funny. Is it that he’s a successful gynecologist but can’t cure his troubled wife? Side-splitting! Or is it that he’s a popular gyno because he’s “handsome,” insofar as Richard Gere can be considered handsome? Knee-slapper! It was written by a woman, so I thought perhaps it would be about the amusing dynamics between different women, but instead it was about a man’s inability to fathom the women around him, despite having a medical degree pertaining to their nether regions. Haw haw haw! Oh, and there is poor Shelly Long and Robert “Airplane!” Hayes too, not helping.
Director Robert Altman does his trademark layered dialogue here, which works sometimes (setting a realistic mood) and not other times (failure to establish a sense of actual story). All the women are blonde and fluffy, until Liv Tyler oozes on screen, and then what? Nothing. When I (against policy) try to explain the story to someone to illustrate how disgruntled I am about the lack of story, I get all worked up in a lather because not even a quick synopsis makes it sound like it’s about anything – it’s 17 words short of a 25 word pitch. “Handsome male gynecologist and the women in his life.” Note the lack of verbs. Gere can’t even do anything himself to save it, as he, the lead, is reduced to a reactionary role, whose only advancing actions serve to make us feel less sympathetic to him.
Helen Hunt breezes through this movie as if unaware of the rest of the film or the actual role Gere is playing, (worried husband) so it’s not her fault. She also gets most of the opportunities to repeat the central metaphor, er, image, er, fantasy, which is essentially “look out for women and water” and which doesn’t make a lot of sense. Redemption for Gere is a boy and a desert, but even though the symbolism is broadly drawn, it symbolizes nothing – what about women and water? Dangerous, wonderful, inextricable? Oh, and redemption from what?
Really, the funniest part of the movie (for me, for it was a screener copy) was the subtitle “For Your Consideration.” I will say this – the filmmakers did two things right: the sweet, sad (possibly inappropriate) music of Lyle Lovett is a keeper, and all depictions of Texas weather – the skies, the sound, the instant rivulets on the sidewalks, the Magnolia-esque weather surprise near the end, it’s all executed well. But that does not make a movie. It’s a bummer, it’s got no story arc, the lead is unsympathetic and uninteresting, and the women characters are a wee bit over the top as well. Hestia syndrome? Whatever.
Skip this one, as if you didn’t already.
MPAA Rating R for graphic nudity and some sexuality.
Release date 10/3/00
Time in minutes 122
Director Robert Altman
Studio Artisan Entertainment
