Shrek the Third
Longtime Cinerina readers well know that I am no Shrek fan. Oh sure, the first movie was full of sly digs at Walt Disney animation studios and various corporate America icons - but funny? A little. Not better than Pixar’s Monsters Inc., which it inexplicably beat for the first ever Animated Feature Oscar (a category made for Pixar works). The Shrek sequel was infuriatingly lame, casting great actors (Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots is inspired) and doing nothing with them. Now, in Shrek the Third, there is less of the same.
I could not find one person willing to go see the free screening. I sat next to another online critic, and between us we laughed maybe 5 times. Shrek 3 lacks off the things that the Shrek franchise potentially had going for it - fantasy puns on anachronistically modern things, and “ogres are gross” butt jokes. I’m not saying that’s the zenith of comedy, but it is the Shrek brand.
Instead, we have a cobwebby plot of revenge and diverting responsibility and fear of fatherhood, with a superficial gloss on make bonding and…zzzzz…what was I saying? Even the germs of interesting ideas (villains reclaiming their side of the story, a hesitant, former outcast of a father possibly being a role model to a fatherless outcast) were tossed aside in favor of tired clichés, male panic, incongruous pop songs, and baseless mayhem. Oh, and it was kind of dull too. The jokes aren’t even tilted toward the demographic of 5 year olds Shrek appears to want to court - it’s too stilted and lame to appeal to an 8 year old or an adult, but how many toddlers are going to laugh at a use of Led Zepplin’s Immigrant Song?
Even the inside jokes and running gags in the franchise were ejected in favor of inane prattle and random pratfalls. This is why so many adults refuse to see animated movies. Shrek 3 and its ilk are why so few people saw the Triplets of Belleville or Allego Non Troppo or even Finding Nemo! It makes steam come out of my ears!
In anticipation of its real consumption arena, video, Shrek 3 was presented at the 4:3 aspect ratio of standard definition television. No letter boxing, no wide screen - they just took the pan out of the scan. The anachronism jokes have worn a little thin, too. They even resorted to that weird “only in Hollywood” template for a high school - pools of distinct cliques doing their stereotypically identifying behavior in patches of grass in front of the school. It’s in every movie featuring a character aged 13-18, so it’s more like shorthand than comedy. Look, nerds playing chess! My sides are splitting!
One thing I will say about Shrek 3 is the textures of everything are fantastic. Seriously. I would hope that the animation would be top-shelf, considering the date and budget, but really, vert good. Wet donkey fur, rough homespun cloth, the misty patina of an antique mirror, faint childhood freckles and skin blotchiness, froggy translucence and fluttering ostrich plumes. It’s very impressive. Then, just to keep me annoyed, the Shrek animators have still not solved the incredibly creepy “uncanny valley” problems plaguing the characters’ face and body movements. The mouths are still lipless and stiff, the eyes expressionless, the limbs like thick rubber. Creeeeepy!
Anyway, if you actually are a fan of Shrek, nothing I say will convince you to skip it (Captain Obvious sitting 2 rows back laughed at jokes they would have cut from Leave it to Beaver for being too corny), but if you’re like me, heed my warning: Not even John Krasinski as Lancelot can make this movie enjoyable.
MPAA Rating PG
Release date 5/18/07
Time in minutes 93
Director Chris Miller, Raman Hui
Studio Dreamworks / Paramount
