South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
I say Full Price Feature with this codicil: IF you like South Park, you will get your money’s worth and more. If you are of tender sensibilities, abhor profanity, desperately require 3D rendered animation, or hate music, skip this movie. If you want to know what that damnable tune I keep whistling at my desk is, go go go go go! Midway through my roommate said, “Good thing I already bought the soundtrack” – and it is a good thing! Track 2, three more times!!!! I had not seen one episode this season, I worried that I had grown out of the kids, or tired of them, or something. Oh no. I was just saving up my belly muscles so I could wrack and ruin them by the end of the first reel. The little screen room I was in was sold out, and just in 2 days they have added a second, larger screen.
It’s got everything. And I, with my one rule of no spoilers, can’t tell you half of it. If you don’t mind knowing, read the glowing review in Time Magazine or the Thumbs Up from Ebert. It’s freakin’ hilarious and it’s also terribly, terribly wrong. The thing was, I wasn’t even ashamed of laughing, because how can you not laugh? Terrance and Phillip are in it quite a bit, and I’m sorry, I can’t stop laughing at them. They are my Itchy and my Scratchy, my Steve Martin and Eddie Murphy. Again, refer to Track 2 of the soundtrack. You thought Mr. Hanky was tacky? Thought the original Jesus vs. Santa Claus was a bit outré? Well, get over THAT!
If you are Canadian, wear a thick skin. If you are any gender or ethnicity or religion, do the same. I know, I had also heard that the movie was incredibly offensive, yadda yadda yadda. But it does more than just scream goobery infantile bile at you – the glory of South Park is under all their “oh my god did he just say that?” showmanship, Trey Parker and Matt Stone always have something positive to say. Sometimes it’s as simple as “Be tolerant” and other times it’s “Parents, why don’t you take a little more responsibility for your actions, you cretins,” but always, it’s positive. Occasionally, the less vicious element overlooks that – they can’t see the forest for the fart jokes. Plus they have the courage to say the kinds of things we usually say anyway but with a hushed voice as we look over our shoulders. “So, I met this guy and he was…(looks over shoulder, whispers)…Amish!”
I wish I could get a beer with these guys. They openly despise the MPAA (and frankly, it is more than a tad outmoded and unrealistic, how they rate these movies) and so they had made a cut (please please DVD director’s cut please!) specifically with scenes they knew the MPAA would freak about and make them cut. Heck, the animation is done on a Mac in some hole somewhere, it probably cost the productions dozens of dollars to boot up and trim those minutes off. So, the major “sin” of South Park is language – but I can hear roughly the same stuff (with less farting, granted) in a Cannes-Creamfest like Pulp Fiction or a Spike Lee Joint or anything starring Joe Pesci – what’s the problem? Any violence or nudity in SP is clearly cartoonish and, I might add, less startling than say, Heavy Metal or Wizards. So folks who think South Park is a little too alarming, well, come on. What’s the problem, exactly? Dirty words? Universal disrespect for others? Xenophobia against the largest of our 51 states (ooh that one burns, don’t it, Canucks?)? So how come I had to endure the sick, horrible, 20 minute R-rated feedback rape scene in Strange Days with not a peep from the MPAA and I had to flash my stupid driver’s license to hear Cartman say the F word?
I busted a gut watching South Park and I fully intend to see it again and bust it again. I almost saw it again today (2 days later) but the plan fell apart. I know people I would specifically tell to avoid this movie, but (and as they read this they know who they are) I kind of, in a not-meaning-to-be-mean-way, feel sorry for them. I’m sorry that this stuff doesn’t bother me and it does them – because it’s a funny freaking movie! It’s hella cool! M’Kay?
MPAA Rating R for everything you can object to
Release date 6/30/99
Time in minutes 81
Director Trey Parker
Studio Paramount
