Tomb Raider combined with Final Fantasy
Tomb Raider and Final Fantasy
I was fortunate (if such a word can be used) to see these two thematically similar movies back to back, so I feel they would best be served being reviewed as such. They are both movies based on video games with a smart female protagonist, and for that, we must approve of them. They are both visually very stunning to look at, both a wee on the wooden side, acting-wise, and both a mite forgettable.
Let’s start with Tomb Raider. I didn’t expect much from the film, just some cool, Jane Bond equipment combined with pretty locations and wicked action sequences straight out of a video game…”It was supposed to be a routine tomb raid…” I got everything I expected, so it wasn’t a waste of my time. Angelina Jolie as Lady Lara Croft is alarmingly similar-looking (though they did update her wardrobe and sunglasses) to the Sony Playstation Lara Croft I used to watch, but of course she has a cool house, a zillion dollars, and weird habits, like the real Jolie. The action sequences were exciting, over the top, and pretty content-free, the sets were Rube Goldberg-impressive and the locations were stunning. Great score, too.
However, the Bad Guy for this movie is not only a guy who likes like an extra from the back lot of the UPN network, he also is a major player in the Illuminati, which is about as 80’s a villany network as one can imagine. The whole idea of the Illuminati is so corny, so junior-high schoolers giggling significantly in the corner of a comic book store as to render them totally unscary. It doesn’t help that villain Daniel Craig lounges in a plush trendy sofa in a GQ pose, plotting evil plots while his hair glistens menacingly. Quite silly. An over-extended thread of unresolved mourning for Lara’s lost father bogs the film down - maybe they thought it was adding interest for the female demographic, but it was just creepy. Back to the action: the climactic scene takes place in a scene reminiscent of Aughra’s lair in The Dark Crystal, which doesn’t help the whole 80’s fantasy movie nostalgia/queasiness at all. In addition, the writers stuck in a lot of completely stupid things (light switches in unlikely places for example) that lent a tickle of irritation to the underneath of the film.
Tomb Raider is a summer movie - lots to look at, not much to think about, plenty to forget, and artificially inflated boobs in tight t-shirts. But I’d pay matinee price to see it, knowing what to expect.
Dr. Aki Ross, in Final Fantasy, however, has a very modest bosom, her hair moves more than Jolie’s hair does, and she has the advantage of actually being in a cartoon. Ross is very smart, has some secrets and some great equipment, but the story/theme in her movie is (if possible) even hokier than the Illuminati. Apparently, these alien creatures called Phantoms (this is a synonym for ghost, mind you) are killing people; more accurately, stealing their spirit. Everyone wants to find a way to stop this. Enter Big Military versus Greenpeace 3001. It is pretty formulaic, which one can understand, but the hokey aspect comes from the Good Guy camp as to the spirit of everyone and the spirit of the earth, finding resonating spirits, etc. etc. It is even more new age hooey than in Tomb Raider (which, while also full of some serious power crystal type flim-flam, at least made all the bits look fantastical), and even more difficult to suspend disbelief and care. I recycle and support animal rights and blah blah blah Sierra Club blah blah blah but Final Fantasy is a turnoff. It’s a shame, actually, since the idea of taking care of the planet is a good one, but they dress it up in a ridiculous outfit so that it’s embarrassing to agree with it.
The animation is amazing, watershed computer animation. It’s beautiful, and worth seeing just to see where technology has taken us. The special effects are beautiful, the Phantoms (Ecto-Fatty) are very cool looking, and the people look real….until they speak. My companion refers to CGI people as “creep-mation,” and the more real the get, the more creepy it is. Facial expressions, body movement, pores, hair, all super. But as soon as the (lame) dialogue starts, we lose the magic and get a queasy feeling.
Aki’s hero guy looks like Ben Affleck, talks like Alec Baldwin. Herein lies the ultimate issue I had with Final Fantasy. It’s one thing for Baldwin’s voice to come out of the mouth of a dog - we understand the dog is being used as a character, and the dog’s expressions are given new life with the actor’s voice behind them. It’s a whole other experience to hear Alec Baldwin’s voice come out of the basically realistic face of some other guy. Excessively creepy, creepier than the creep-mation. The filmmakers seem to have gone out of their way to cast really obvious voice talent, casting a weird ghost-vibe (maybe it was on purpose?) over the characters that the voice talent are portraying. It makes sense to hire strong, tried and true actors, especially when they are supplying most of the emotion that a computer-generated face cannot provide. But we all know Steve Buscemi’s voice (and it conjures up his unusual face quite readily) and it’s just horrible and jarring hearing it come out of some generic pseudo-cute guy’s mouth.
Besides the creepy people, the story is pretty straightforward - rag tag band of heroes saves the world from an unstoppable and terrible menace (as well as from the menace within) - but hopefully no one will see this film hoping for an epic tale of heroism and beauty. The animation alone is stunning enough to warrant your viewing for matinee price, but it’s everything else that is the problem.
Tomb Raider
MPAA Rating PG-13
Release date 6/15/01
Time in minutes 93
Director Simon West
Studio Paramount
Final Fantasy
MPAA Rating PG-13
Release date 7/11/01
Time in minutes 106
Director Hironobu Sakaguchi
Studio Columbia
